Adultery: Should the betrayed spouse give a second chance

For someone who has never been cheated on, it is easy to say that they will walk right out of the relationship when they find out they’ve been cheated on. But with experience, one realises how feelings don’t just fade in an instant. When it is discovered, the abrupt loss of the pleasurable life built together is also mourned.

For the Sake of Children’s Futures

For couples with kids, adultery is an altogether complex issue. You may take the pain but would you make the unwise choice of causing it to your children too? Your partner has made an easy choice. The harder part is left to your shoulders. With a nosedive in trust, you may make the brave choice of fighting for the marriage.

But to uplift their career, this action might affect their mental health poorly. The daily fights, silent treatment or general mistrust in the air can easily be sensed by them. In today’s world, children suffer from a myriad of mental disorders if the parents are not in sync. Does this mean to end it regardless of the consequences? The answer remains in staying dedicated and respectful with either decision you make.

Half-Hearted Forgiveness is Toxic

Infidelity is the worst thing to live with. Whereas knowingly staying together is inflicting pain on yourself. Dealing with infidelity is very difficult to do without professional help. Be sure of your reasons by consulting the best Investigator in Singapore Resilient Investigation’s LLP. One of the most common consequences in this scenario is catching the unfaithful spouse red-handed. Later, forgiving them half-heartedly and nagging them at every opportunity you can find.

This is a toxic approach that is never going to resolve anything. This way you will feel like you have had an upper hand. This is not true; it is they who have side-tracked from the supposed path. Do not make the mistake of glorifying your loyalty. This might only increase the period of pain instead of reducing it.

Every Beginning Has An End

If your partner has cheated on you and it was more than a one-time thing. It is imperative to remember that what they started with lies, the same. How can something sacred ever truly begin with such elements in the story? An affair is all good until it is forbidden but once it is out in the open, it loses its charm. What then started with a spark, ends like a sham.

Your partner is bound to realise an affair is nothing compared to a full-fledged marriage. They will also become conscious about how they do not live an extraordinary, dual life. Either they will overcome the dishonesty or stick to it their whole life. Whether you choose to take them back is up to you.

How Does the Cheater Feel?

Statistics say, 55 percent of cheaters come from the family of infidel parents. If the partner feels guilty and takes the blame, they are ready for redemption. If they feel like it was their right to be happy, the relationship cannot move forward. It is the very reaction of the cheater that should determine where you stand. If they accept and seek forgiveness, there is the potential to sustain the relationship.

Bear in mind that it is not your job to make them feel responsible. You may have feelings for them, but you cannot trust them without any complacency.

Look At the Roots

Consider that if adultery has consequences and it also has its underlying causes. What is that that led to this blown-up stage of the relationship? Boredom, narcissism, marital unhappiness and sexual dissatisfaction are only some known grounds. If a certain cause has let I happen once it is likely to happen again. No matter what, a partner should not. But with time, loose promises and hollow motives have surrounded us.

If you find out the root cause of why they strayed, it will help. If not in this relationship, but it may in the next one.

A couple needs to take a safe approach if they want to resolve the issue. They need to take time and make wise decisions. Physical infidelity sometimes does not mean the end. The betrayed spouse needs to check the deeper intent. There are pros and cons to any decision you incline to but isn’t that life itself?

There are cases where partners have cheated on each other, and after all, claimed to be ‘happy’. While some cases, where loyal partners stay together in unhappy marriages. This does not mean it is okay to cheat, but that there is hope for every one of us.

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